Saturday, February 28, 2009
so what's going on?
life now...has been really stressful but..i'm wonderin what's my friends been doing..
i hope they're doing well....Ana..Jah...Syah...zi....i'm wonderin how u gals are doing..
i'ts been awhile..i miss all of u...
Ana the party starter...Azimah always picking on me...jah...who always have a story to tell....And Syah...who is likely to smile...i missed those days when we were together..
creating not say havoc lah..but fun..when we're together...time passes real fast...how have u been seriously????Azimah...ur sitting fo art o arent u??? Ana hws ur ife been???hws studies???Syah...hws ur lyf nw..?
hws ur mum???i hope shes doin well....jah???ko trus menyepi...tak denga khaba pun..
seriusly ppl...we shud mit up sum day...and tok about life..
TO my dearest cuzzie...Fatheha....i dun cre doz ppl who wishes to boycott u...dey r juz plain losers who doesnt have a life..al that matters is ....u have me...and i have u at any step of the way..
To my bestest buddy/girlfriend/sis...Nurul...ilusm....congrats on ur promotion...ur a seargent now....im so3 proud of u....To all ma frenz....thx 4 ben der...
i pray ns sincerely hope ul suceed in ur future endeavours....
the lady
8:12 PM
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Monday, February 23, 2009
my life would suck without u..
i'm over the moon...floating on cloud nine today...i laughed until i'm gasping for air...hahhahx...i don't know why...but i'm content with my life now...ther's alot of pressure from school and family to do well...but wherever...and whenever i looked around me...i'm glad i have my friends to fall back on...my classmates...my buddies...my nurul...akil....and so much more....fateha...one of the resons i've got a happier and fulfilled life...
oh yeah...i ran for pe today..Mr kenny...wanted us to run like 45 rounds around the parade square..but our class ran like 12 round i guessed??yea..and i had an abrasion wound on my knee..cause...i was running full speed ahead and my friend leroy...just slowed down adruptly...prior to that...i fell....not many people know this when i get hurt or whatever the situation....i'll laugh my lungs out...it's true...i's more of a reflex action than a voluntary action i guessed???if i do get myself crying i guess the pain is too much???ahahhahahx...weird are'nt i???another reason i;m happy today is because...i scored 12 1/2 over 30 for poa..
that's a good sign???
i'm so happy the most today cuz...my honey texted me after 5 days w/o any contact....woah...im so touched...ilusm by!!!!!!!
the lady
3:04 AM
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Saturday, February 21, 2009
missing him too much...
it's been 4 days ever since i heard any news from my sayang....I'm missing him freaking badly....but i daren't called his house...because i'm just afraid to speak to his mum....i just don't feel comfortable....alright...maybe....just afraid...i understand she does'nt want me to interfere??or maybe...distract him from his ns....so...i'm just torn between contacting him and his mum...he's VERY close to his mum...shit now i'm hearing his voice in my sleep....his voice is the first thing i hear in my head before going to sleep..or even waking up....i missed him too much...i don't know if i could bear this kind of painful waiting...god..i hope he's doing fine..i am concern about his health....
by....jangan lupe makan ubat tau...jangan tidur lambat...jangan lupe makan dan minum you kay...sayang...???i hope ur doing fine..everyday..everynight i'm waiting for you to text or call me...dear...imusm!!!!!!!!!!
the lady
6:31 PM
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Thursday, February 19, 2009
another day...another chapter..
like all thursdays....school ends late for me..
straight after school i had poa remedial..
i went to ms neo n pass her the parent's letter for dropping out poa..
i felt so sorry..
she always go the extra mile for me..
im sorry ms neo..
u were the one who says it's best to give it up..
frankly..i don't know what's wrong with me this days..mood swings...increased stress level...and so and so forth.....i did the same article as arafat on pirates strikes off somalia waters..
like wth!!!!but its ok...i still went ahead with it..i plucked up all my courage...and i did my article in front of the class..
hahahhahax...then wee min say i can be a news reporter..wth kan?
yup so it was great to receive such comments..i have to do some homework...iron sjab half u..n some stuff...
tired..
fia...
the lady
3:10 AM
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Tuesday, February 17, 2009
what's life without stress?
my life is all about art...bf...family...n others...oh yea...o levels that too...shit happens today...i don't get why...i totally forgotten to bring ss today..i searched high and low for any ss textbook...luckily...anastacia lend me hers...phew!what a close shave..
i had mother tongue for first period...i was so dissapointed...my results sucked like hell...i don't know where i should face myself...
then it was chemistry..double period...Mrs Nedu was on course..i did my mother tongue homework...and copied yana's answer for chem's worksheet...pe came...i ran 4 rounds around the school...i'm suprised i was among the 1st 10 to complete the rounds...we did those stupid frog jumps....and leg raises..i found a burning spirit in me...unlike before...i think i learnt a lot this couple of years...my ignited burning spirit...i hope it won't fade away...easily...recess..i caught up with fatheha?i think....i think she's doing fine....art...Ms yeo ask me to improve my artwork..she almost made me redo it....4 stages due at the end of the month...english was okay...bearable...i seriously don't know if i can improve my english under her?we did compo...then it was ss.jose,arch and i all got 4/12 for seq...after school...it was english supplementary...finished up compo...and i was the 1st to submit...by then i was exhausted like hell cause i was tired and hungry...i went to grab a bite and ran for mother tongue test...it was terrible...what happened to my malay?
i called my sayang and he told me he was seriously sick...i was worried for him..straight after that...i went for sjab.god...shits seriuosly happened.salleh texted me saying he wnted me back.i had to handle between texting to my boify...and my stupid ex...and discuss with my teammates about cpb....i went to see my darling just now...for about 30 mins...tengah sakit2 gitu nak gi birthday party...hmm....went home ate...do abit of art and english...frankly..i think i slack a lot...haix.....
fia..signing out..
the lady
5:19 AM
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Saturday, February 14, 2009
love at first call...
i broke up with salleh....aproximately a week ago..today...he ask for a patch up..but i decline...i see no point in a relationship that bears no fruit even if it hurts...its the best for us..i don't wish to be trapped....luckily... i found my new sweetheart...things didn't go smoothly today...but after awhile the day got better...he was the 2nd guy that can make melaugh at lame jokes..i'm really happy and blessed he's there for me no matter what...he calmed me down when i was stressed out...undertand why i do what i do...he did not get mad at me for too long...best of all...he was there today to help me get over my phobia...we went through a serries of long...quite dark staircases....i developed a phobia of quiet and dark places after what hapened with my ex-boyfriend...initially i almost lose it...i hung to my honey tightly...afraid to let go...he brought me out...gave me a hug...a kiss on the forehead and told me it's over and i'm here with you...
he made me laugh and calm me down...talk to me...i almost cried but he held me tight...not letting go...he told me that we were are fated to me...we fill up each other lives...he's leo while i'm a virgo...frankly...our horoscope clashes...we are just total opposites of each other....we totally have so many differences...
but that was exactly why our relationship is special...common understanding...mutual respect...and both of us tries our best to make each other happy..i treasure this relationship...he's the kind who adds smiles to my life unlike before...he's positive...outgoing...bubbly...happy-go-lucky..while i'm the conservative type...analytical and critical thinking...we balance each other out...
i'm just lucky i guessed?life got so much better after i met him...i hope our relationship will last for as long as it could....i love you darling..i really do...
the lady
5:20 AM
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Sunday, February 8, 2009
life goes on....
hmmmm....yea...life goes on still...but thanks to the support of some of my close friends....thank god...i have them....right now i sudenly feel very confused...not because of my decision...i did'nt regret it...
but right now...i'm kinda stress ya know..cuz i've been slackin...eitha i'm depressed over my art 'o's or sum other stuff...n since a week ago...i've been sleepin late...tryin 2 catch up wif my art n stuff like dat....
sometimes it take more than knowin the person 2 love him or her...i usuali trust my gut filins...n ryt here...ryt nw....i dun sim 2 truz myself animre....its eitha i've got a phobia or i'm just plain weird....k,i rili duno...school has been demandin n i'm juz exhausted...mentali...i hope 1 day i can stress myself out...overwork ma body n faint...i sincerely hope so....i hope sum1 can help me break the ice...this barrier....thia hurt...n this outlook in life....
n i hope i can correct my mistakes...n get back to the ryt path...life is a race so hw can 1 slow down n njy wat life has 2 offer...????
the lady
4:07 AM
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Saturday, February 7, 2009
when you ask me why....
breaking up ain't easy thats the reason why i took 3 years to decide...i have to say3 years is a very long time...
i did my best to maintain our relationship but i fail to continue...lets just say...i let him down....i let his mum down i let his parents down...
i find it hard to explain for a simple reason why i broke up...the reason is straightfoward but it makes it sound like i've got other motives...
hmmm.....during this 3 years i look at the differences and the similarities we shared..ok....we have more diffrences then similarities....so why on earth do i still continue to be with him?its because i find that we can work through our problems and resolve it amicably...well..it happens but after a while we were both selfish....found it hard to give in....hard to understand...and what makes it worst is that we always have communication problem.....i thought this long and hard...call me mean or whatever you like but listen....its my life my decision...my relationship with him has more tears then smiles...
thats how i remember it by....we have the whole lifetime to make a decision,but we cannot afford to regret my decision....frankly...i do not regret my decision to be with him in the 1st place...life is a learning journey...now i know what to expect in my life....
and after a while i came out with this phrase..."as long as u want something you'll work hard for it and if not you won't" ok....why do i say this?well...i just can see obviously we both have change and its hard to be back again...it will never be the same again...
if his my soulmate...i'm sure we'll be again somehow...so seriously..there's nothing
to be afraid about....
the lady
3:27 AM
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Tuesday, February 3, 2009
heaven knows i've been waiting for you..
like always i've always been so tired because school end late almost everyday...tired does not really express my true feelings...worn out is more like it.....
well...school end quite early today...Mrs Ong,my english teacher made us stay back to listen to the public speakers for tomorrow's public speaking...very soon it'll be my turn..
she wasted my time...she's the kind of teacher who likes to talk crap...n at the end of the day achieves nothing..
little could be learnt in her class..
my personal life has just too many confusing matters and issues that i've problem deciding..
many would have classified me as slow or blur sotong...but actually i agree as its true...
y???
that's because i take a long while to think...make decicions or whatsoever.......
a simple matter like should i have apple or orange could be made so complex..but i thank god i'm the way i am..
if it wasn'nt because of that i wouldn't meet my life saviour..
the light at the end of the tunnel..
my greatest n best of friend.......nurul amalina....
she's the reason why...i've regain trust...confidence in myself...
she's the angel that catches e from falling...
gave me wings..
n brought me to a greater height..
the real reason i didn't end my life...
on that very faithful day...
she's strong and she's my role modal...
i love her...
fia...
the lady
12:52 AM
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Sunday, February 1, 2009
to kip falin down....
to fall n 2 stand up shud b d way its supoz 2 b...bt al diz fuckin shits is takin a toll on me...once...twice...thrice....dez a limit 2 it...i juz cant accpt dat...u cud undstd me...but u sae al diz mean tings....here im tinkin u can undstd me in dip...but its a bunch of fairytale stories...i shud hav nown beta...i gues im stupid enuf 2 beliv it...im juz tird...of goin tru shits aft shits evryday...its lyk fytin a losin war...wats d point fytin n u noe ur goin 2 lose???
so yea..i gues its ok...my stupidity is a blessing in disguise...........................i noe...im slow but its ok..i noe im nt alone...i noe diz is part n parcel of lyf...i shud hav nown beta....im sori afia...ive cost pain 2 ur heart...body n soul...
hahahahahahahahahaahaxxx....banyak cite bodoh je....cheer up gal..ok??it wil get beta...fyt fire wit fire!!!!!!!!!!
hahahax...llol....
the lady
11:50 PM
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